Ah, finally. I finally took the first step to log into blogger and type a new post since um.. a few years back? haha. It was tough not typing and having a place to let my feelings out of me.
2 years of army wasn't that bad, just that it made me thought a lot more than i used to. It made me realise things that I think I should know yet I was afraid to face the reality. The thing about this 2 years is that it allows people like me to take my time to accept all these things and yet 'not wasting precious time' since everyone has to go through it anyway. Overall, there are a lot of things i hate about this world, yet I learned that the best way to deal with it is to embrace it every time it arises, not to hide from it. Of course not everything was bad, I made a few good buddies there and what's better than having more people whom you can talk to randomly! BUT, IT'S OVER.
Lately, I've been busy with some work, some business stuff. I hate to talk about it because every time it comes to this topic, its tiring. Its tiring to tell people because they are what I would like to term it as 'Singaporeans'. They can queue for almost half an hour or so for a free cup of milo, they can analyse almost every aspect of a problem and not do anything, they can even let a blind man just stand at a bus stop waiting for his bus to come 'forever'. I always tell myself, if there's one strength of this place, it is in its minority, not the majority. I remembered I didn't understand what my dad was trying to tell me since young. I could never understand why he said HK was a better environment to mature. Last time all I could recall was taxi uncles getting beaten up, now after getting myself into some 'work', I finally understood. It makes me feel like I've sort of regretted, I should have just said 'no' and stayed back, but not like I could have think of that last time.
Also, without the heavy burden of waking up early and going for live firings, I had time for myself to think about my life. I grew up in an environment which I always thought it was probably the best route a guy can ever take. For a badboy to come out from trouble and slowly turn to a student who can sit down for hours after lessons to study, is not something that anyone can experience. I understood the 'thing' between poly and jc, because I fell right in between. That's the good news. The bad news is that I became 'good' too quickly. Thinking back, I just thought that the definition of a 'good childhood' wasn't just about getting good grades and top the scoring charts, especially I started to disbelieve in the education system. I thought a 'good childhood' simply means a period of time for a kid to transform into someone READY for the future path that he will be taking. The only difference is that there will be more dog shit and nobody is gonna help clean it up. I admit I have not fulfill this criteria, yet. Yet my subsequent course of action are always being blocked by people who loves me, but deep down inside, I know. I know that it wasn't for me to turn bad, it was just for me to get ready.
Going through so much after a draggy 2 years is tough. So i thought leaving them behind just for a week was a pretty good idea. To go to a place where limited people know me, where I can be who I am and who I want to be, without the thing about status nor pride. I knew at the very moment I stepped out of the international airport, I was free. That first breath of cold, yet warming air was magnificent, I knew I would enjoy myself even before I knew where the taxi stand was. What I experienced from that point onwards was, truly amazing. Everything fell into these 3 catergories: people, places, perspectives. Amazing.
Ciao.
